Before You File For Divorce, Ask These Questions |
Posted: November 9, 2017 |
You might not be happy. You might be miserable. Perhaps your spouse cheated, lied, or hasn’t been treating you well. Whatever it is, you’ve reached a point where you can’t decide whether to stay or go, and your biggest problem is how a divorce will affect your kids. Before you start thinking about a divorce and how it will affect the kids, stop and think about your marriage. You might not be nearly as ready for a divorce as you think you are, and it’s your job to make certain you are ready before you make any decisions regarding the future of your family. Is your marriage worth saving?Many divorce attorneys in Utah do recommend you consider this before filing for divorce. While they do get paid to handle this for you, they also know that marriage is sacred and that making the best decision for your kids sometimes means thinking long and hard about what you’re doing. Do you really want a divorce? Is there any chance you can still work things out or salvage any of this? If there is even a small chance, you owe it to your family to see if you can make it happen. How does the idea of divorce make you feel?If you’re considering divorce, consider how it makes you feel. Does it make you feel good? Does it make you feel relieved? Do you see a future without your spouse? Do you think that your life will be better off without him in it? If you can see this, you might be ready. If the idea crushes you, makes you nervous, and causes you pain rather than sadness for the loss of something you’d hoped would work, you might be ready. Are you still emotional because something happened recently?This is the most important question to ask before you go filling for divorce. Did something happen recently and you’re still riding on the emotional high because of it? Did you find out your spouse cheated emotionally or physically, lied to you, or has a problem you didn’t previously know of? If you’re still reeling from this information and unsure what you want to do and how you feel about it, don’t make any decisions. Your kids need you to calm down and really take the time to think about what you want and if you can work through this. Is there any abuse in your marriage?Any form of abuse is an automatic deal-breaker for many. If you are struggling with the idea of leaving an abusive spouse because you don’t want to hurt your kids by turning their lives upside down, consider what staying with an abusive spouse is doing to your kids. Kids learn by example. They’re learning it’s all right to physically, emotionally, mentally abuse their loved ones. They’re learning a horrible example of what a marriage should look like, and they’re much more likely to repeat the cycle as adults. Do you still love one another?If there is still love in the marriage, ask yourself if what caused you to consider divorce is something you could work through. If there is no love left in the marriage at all, you probably want to call that attorney and get the paperwork started. Your future depends on what decision you make right now, and a lack of love is not the place to raise kids. They’d rather live their childhood with someone who is happy and enjoying life rather than someone who feels suffocated and miserable in his or her own home. Your decision to divorce is highly personal, and you should consider how the kids feel before you make any decisions. However, you cannot make decisions based solely on how they feel and what it means to them. This is your life, and you do deserve to live your life with happiness and a chance at being the best version of you for your kids.
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